Posted by: sarahkennedy33 | February 18, 2008

Singles Awareness Day?

I had some interesting conversations last week with a couple of younger students here at Fuller surrounding the topic of bitterness and Valentines Day. Something many of you know about me is that I love holidays, and I happen to really like Valentines Day, I always have. As a kid, I loved getting to make those fun little mail boxes that would get attached to the side of your desk, and you would bring a cheesy Valentine for each person in your class, being careful to not give any of the boys cards that might imply that you actually liked them. The little candy hearts with the dorky messages, the class parties–ah yes, Valentines Day was the greatest.

When I got to college I started realizing there was a little bitterness surrounding the holiday as people who no longer wanted to be single were reminded that they were indeed single, and I can totally understand where those feelings would come from. However, somehow I never managed to get sucked into the Valentines Day slump that so many young women found themselves in. As an RA in the freshmen/sophomore dorms I made the whole week of Valentines Day “love week” focusing on a different person each day–love yourself day, love the world day, love your roommate day, love your family day etc. Not everyone appeciated this, some still chose to dress in black in protest and in an effort to remind the world they were single, and because of this, not a fan of men in general–which never made sense to me. If I were a guy looking at the girls around me as potential dates, I don’t think I would ask the girl out who was dressed in black and had the aire about her that basically communicated men suck. But what do I know, I was single all through college.

What has surprised me the most is that as I have gotten older, the bitterness in the people around me when it comes to Valentines Day has gotten worse and worse. Pocket reminded me the other day about our first Valentines Day here at Fuller two years ago. We were in a small group of women and all of us were single. So, that Valentines Day we decided to go out to dinner. Pocket and I assumed this was a fun celebration of a day where you get to hang out with friends and show them how much you love them, whether that is with cards, candy, flowers, etc. To us, we thought it was a fun day. So we show up, and find the other two dressed from head to toe in black, declared it Singles Awareness Day, and announced that they were in protest of the holiday because they were single. (and just a disclaimer, yes we do realized we are dressed in black from head to toe here too, we promise, it’s purely out of how great black looks and has nothing to do with bitterness!) They spent the entire dinner whining about how much men suck, guys “just don’t get it,” they are bascially scum. Jenn and I left the dinner so frustrated; our attempts to help them understand that life isn’t about having some guy on Valentines Day, and celebrating the holiday and loving the people around you can still happen with or without a man in your life fell absolutely flat. What drove me the most crazy was that these are women preparing to go into the ministry, preparing to spend their lives working alongside men bringing about the kingdom of God here on earth. Yet it’s okay to make broad generalizations and refer to all men as scum out of bitterness. Right, that makes sense.

So last year we determined that Valentines Day was NOT going to be spent with people bitter at half the human race. Guy or no guy, we were going to spend the day celebrating life, one another, and the relationships God has given us. Thus, the secret valentine tradition was born. It was awesome, something I would highly recommend all women do with their girlfriends, whether they are single or not. So, of course we had to continue the tradition this year. I do have a wonderful guy in my life now, and I am so thankful for him, but that doesn’t replace the friendships I have with the women God has brought into my life, and celebrating Valentines Day with him doesn’t mean I can’t also love and celebrate other important relationships as well. The foursome drew names again this year, secretly delivered gifts to one another on Valentines Day, and then went out to a nice dinner and to see the musical adaptation of Alice Walker’s novel, The Color Purple on Saturday night. (Which was wonderful by the way–if you’re here in LA this winter I think we would all highly recommend it!) (and photos are below…)

Sophie and I–she apparently found a wrap in just the right color for the night!

Dinner at the FireflyPocket and I–she had me as her secret Valentine & put together a very fun gift for me centering around the theme of beauty–a gift certificate for a manicure, fun underwear, a framed photo of a beautiful sunset, and a CD of songs about being beautiful inside and out. She was a great secret valentine!
Sophie had Becca and gave her an urban outfitters t-shirt that had Becca written all over it!
Pocket liked the Sangria
Becca’s turn to open a present! I think she’s excited!
Sophie looking gorgeous Finishing getting ready
Pocket’s turn to unwrap her gift from Becca!
Becca went clothes shopping for her!
And I kind of think she has a crush on her…

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